“Most people think of love as a feeling,” says David Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:

1.  Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
2.  Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.
3.  Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
4.  Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
5.  Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.

When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A’s—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A’s, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

REVIEW:

I originally sought books to help me get over a man in my life that is still IN my life, but not committed to me. We are the classic “friends with benefits” only he’s benefiting more than I am…much more. This book has reinforced in a HUGE way what I already knew but chose to ignore. It teaches us how change IS scary…even if it’s healthy change. It’s scary because it’s what we become to know and feel comfortable with after awhile. It reaches deep into the psyche and shows why we stay in relationships that aren’t so healthy. It connects us to our childhood, but not in a crutching sort of manner like some readings which “blame” our current choices all on childhood incidences, but rather shows us why we possibly make some of the decisions that we do.

You won’t be disappointed in this book. I had to force myself to put it down and sleep. I read it in two days. I underlined SO many sections that applied to me. This book is a lifetime keeper!!! Get one for you or someone close to you if you feel they need to make some changes in the way they choose relationships in their lives. You (or them) will be happy you did!!!

One warning…It’s very truthful. Sometimes when you hear something you dont like, it can have a profound effect. I cried reading this book several times because it talked about my life…my thought processes and my feelings when choosing and staying with a partner.

Get It Now At Amazon for $12.51